• …highest-paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering … But the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning power.

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
   Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
   human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming everybody but themselves.
   “Judge not, that ye be not judged.”
   “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” … “when your own doorstep is unclean.”
   “I will speak ill of no man,” … and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
   the sex urge and the desire to be great.
   We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
   “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
   Yet many salespeople spend a lifetime in selling without seeing things from the customer’s angle.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
   You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
   “We are interested in others when they are interested in us.”
5. Smile.
   People who smile tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children.
   … people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it.
   “I have also eliminated criticism from my system. I give appreciation and praise now instead of condemnation. I have stopped talking about what I want. I am now trying to see the other person’s viewpoint…
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
   Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
   All she wanted was an interested listener, so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been.
   He got this feeling of importance at first by kicking and complaining.
   “They have been so much concerned with what they are going to say next that they do not keep their ears open….
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
   “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
   “I’m sorry to trouble you,” “Would you be so kind as to —-? ” “Won’t you please?” ” Would you mind?” “Thank you”
   Almost everyone considers himself important, very important.
   The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.
10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
    Why not let him save his face?
    A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still.
    If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.
    “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,”
    Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.
    Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive.
    Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
    Listen first.
    Look for areas of agreement.
    Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
    Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it.
    Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
    Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.
    When one yells, the other should listen-because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.”
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
    Never begin by announcing “I am going to prove so-and-so to you.”
    If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.
    Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.
    You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.
    Few people are logical. Most of us are prejudiced and biased. Most of us are blighted with preconceived notions, with jealousy, suspicion, fear, envy and pride.
    It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened.
    When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. And if we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness. But not if someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our esophagus.
    “I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot of damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is wrong. You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
    There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error.
    Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes – and most fools do— but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
    When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong – and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves – let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
    “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”
14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
    Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
    When you have said “No,” all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the “No” was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.
    When a person says “No” and really means it, he or she is doing far more than saying a word of two letters. The entire organism – glandular, nervous, muscular -gathers itself together into a condition of rejection.
    Hence the more “Yeses” we can, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.
    it is much more profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to get that person saying ‘yes, yes.'”
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
    They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
    “In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    Try honestly to put yourself in his place.
    … success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other persons’ viewpoint.”
    “I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview,” said Dean Donham of the Harvard business school, “than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person— from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives— was likely to answer.”
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
    The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes.
    Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
    If you are satisfied with the results you are now getting, why change?
20. Dramatize your ideas.
    Merely stating a truth isn’t enough.
21. Throw down a challenge.
    The way to get things done … is to stimulate competition.
    “All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory”
    That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance for self-expression.
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
    It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.
    Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
    This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and.”
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
    It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he, too, is far from impeccable.
    Admitting one’s own mistakes—even when one hasn’t corrected them—can help convince somebody to change his behavior.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
    “You might consider this,” … “Do you think that would work?” … “What do you think of this?” … “Maybe if we were to phrase it this way it would be better.”
    Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable; it often stimulates the creativity of the persons whom you ask. People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.
26. Let the other person save face.
    Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
    while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.”
    Because he had singled out a specific accomplishment, rather than just making general flattering remarks, his praise became much more meaningful to the person to whom it was given … when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere—not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.
    Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
    In short, if you want to improve a person in a certain spect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics … “Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
    Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong, and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique—be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it—and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
    Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

     

    1. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
    2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
    3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
    4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
    5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
    6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.

• The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction.
• he practiced his speeches as he milked the cows;
• The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of successful experiences behind you.

• The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it s not without doubt, but in spite of doubt. To believe fully and at the same moment to have doubts is not at all a contradiction: it presupposes a greater respect for truth, an awareness that truth always goes beyond anything that can be said or done at any given moment.
• Albert Einstein once asked a friend of mine in Princeton, “Why is it I get my best ideas in the morning while I’m shaving?” My friend answered, as I have been trying to say here, that often the mind needs the relaxation of inner controls-needs to be freed in reverie or day dreaming-for the unaccustomed ideas to emerge.
• Mass communication-wonder as it may be technologically and something to be appreciated and valued-presents us with a serious danger, the danger of conformism, due to the fact that we all view the same things at the same time in all the cities of the country. This very fact throws considerable weight on the side of regularity and uniformity and against originality and freer creativity.

• …he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control, and alter his thoughts, tracing their effects upon himself, upon others and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation. And utilizing his every experience, even the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of himself which is understanding, wisdom, power. In this direction, as in no other, is the law absolute that “He that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” For only by patience, practice, and ceaseless importunity can a man enter the door of the temple of knowledge.
• The criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.
• Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. Their whims, fancies, and ambitions are thwarted at every step, but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food, be it foul or clean.
• a man is continually revolting against an effect without, while all the time he is nourishing and preserving its cause in his heart.
• Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.
• man is the causer (though nearly always unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at the good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end.
• The dishonest man may have some admirable virtues which the other does not possess; and the honest man obnoxious vices which are absent in the other. The honest man reaps the good results of his honest thoughts and acts; he also brings upon himself the sufferings which his vices produce. The dishonest man likewise garners his own suffering and happiness.
• …the great law which is absolutely just, and which cannot, therefore, give good for evil, evil for good. Possessed of such knowledge, he will then know, looking back upon his past ignorance and blindness, that his life is, and always was, justly ordered, and that all his past experiences, good and bad, were the equitable outworking of his evolving, yet unevolved self.
• Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure.
• …the poor man only descends into wretchedness when he regards his lot as a burden unjustly imposed.
  Indigence and indulgence are the two extremes of wretchedness. They are both equally unnatural and the result of mental disorder. A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous being; and happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with the outer of the man with his surroundings.
• …during the process of putting himself right, he will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.
• Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot. It rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance. Bestial thoughts crystallize into habits of drunkenness and sensuality, which solidify into circumstances of destitution and disease. Impure thoughts of every kind crystallize into enervating and confusing habits, which solidify into distracting and adverse circumstances. Thoughts of fear, doubt, and indecision crystallize into weak, unmanly, and irresolute habits, which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish dependence. Lazy thoughts crystallize into weak, habits of uncleanliness and dishonesty, which solidify into circumstances of foulness and beggary. Hateful and condemnatory thoughts crystallize into habits of accusation and violence, which solidify into circumstances of injury and persecution. Selfish thoughts of all kinds crystallize into habits of self-seeking, which solidify into distressful circumstances.
  On the other hand, beautiful thoughts of all kinds crystallize into habits of grace and kindliness, which solidify into genial and sunny circumstances. Pure thoughts crystallize into habits of temperance and self-control, which solidify into circumstances of repose and peace. Thoughts of courage, self-reliance, and decision crystallize into manly habits, which solidify into circumstances of success, plenty, and freedom. Energetic thoughts crystallize into habits of cleanliness and industry, which solidify into circumstances of pleasantness. Gentle and forgiving thoughts crystallize into habits of gentleness, which solidify into protective and preservative circumstances. Loving and unselfish thoughts which solidify into circumstances of sure and abiding prosperity and true riches.
• Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will sooner shatter the nervous system.
  Strong pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thoughts by which it is impressed, and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad, upon it.
• Change of diet will not help a man who will not change his thoughts. When a man makes his thoughts pure, he no longer desires impure food.
• Thoughts of malice, envy, and disappointment, despondency, rob the body of its health and grace. A sour face does not come by chance; it is made by sour thoughts. Wrinkles that mar are drawn by folly, passion, pride.
• As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.
• Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded. They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear can never accomplish anything. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
• A perfect love, seeing the suffering which both states entail, condemns neither; a perfect compassion embraces both oppressor and oppressed.
• The universe does not favor the greedy, the dishonest, the vicious, although on the mere surface it sometimes may appear to do so. It helps the honest, the magnanimous, the virtuous.
• He who would accomplish little need sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much. He who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.
• …you, too, will realize the vision (not just the idle wish) of your heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both; for you will always gravitate toward that which you secretly love most. Into your hands will be placed the exact results of your own thoughts. You will receive that which you earn; no more, no less. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain, or rise with your thoughts–your vision, your ideal. You will become as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration.
• The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.

Session 1

Introduction

What Does Stillness Mean?

• Stillness = presence: a state of consciousness that is free of thought, and yet, you’re fully alive, awake, present.
• You cannot understand through the mind because the essence is beyond the mind  thought activity, mental noise.

The Flowering of Consciousness

• The state of stillness: You’re alert, present, open to the aliveness of this moment.
• In many ways, plant life is more enlightened than human’s because it doesn’t inhabit the world of problems.

Beyond Thinking to Presence

• That’s not a problem. It’s a situation that requires some action.
• There is no problem ever in this moment.
• In the state of consciousness – presence, there are no problems. Perhaps, challenges, but they never turn into problems.

Celebrating Life

• We impose our world view on nature.
• Connectedness of being: where life feels good  it feels good to be alive.

Connecting with Essence

• The world is insane.
• What the world is telling you is completely irrelevant because your aliveness has such depth to it.
• “I have overcome the world.”
• “Your whole body will be filled with light.”

Going into the Now

• Circumstances come and go. Life situations continuously fluctuate. On the external level, nothing lasts.
• “I don’t like my life’s circumstance,” the minds says, “So I’m going into the now because I don’t want to be in the now. I want to get to the future, and once I get to the future, then I’ll go into the now.”
• The quickest way out of your undesirable circumstance is to enter the present moment, and connect to the vast aliveness that is there, just waiting for you to touch it.

Honor This Moment Fully

• The resistance to the now is an essential aspect of the condition, human mind.
• When the resistance to the now goes, then the life moves freely through you.
• Challenges still come, but your respond to them in the now. You become still, and the action arises out of that state.
• Whatever you do in that state of non-resistance to the present moment is done with care & love.
• If you do not resist what is, the incessant mental noise slows down, subsides.

Session 2

Introduction

Trusting in Life

• It’s hard to make yourself trust when your primordial condition is fear, which is a primordial human condition in the mind-identified state.
• Trust is the absence of fear.
• Trust arises naturally where you don’t need any more affirmations.
• Many concepts disappear when the reality to which the concept points arrives, the very mental concept of it is not really necessary any more.
• Love arises naturally out of the state of presence.
• Patience still means that you’re trying hard to be here. When true patience is there, you don’t even know you’re patient. You’re just present.
• There also comes the time when you go beyond affirmations. Cf. a signpost to Rome

Observing the Ego

• The ego can creep in at any stage.
• Presence is to live free of self-images because that’s mind. It’s conditioning. Free of needing some image telling you who you are.
• Animals are more deeply connected to the source than humans in the normal state.
• Comparison: an ego device in a subtle way you are feeling better than, or not as good as.
• Defensiveness arises when your beliefs are questioned. Who you truly are doesn’t need any defense.
• When you observe it, you’re no longer trapped in that unconscious movement.
• “Whenever you become defensive about anything, know that you have identified yourself with an illusion.”

Recognize Illusion as Illusion

• Knowing is not the illusion. In that knowing, you are free of illusion.
• You don’t have to deny whatever arises inside you. You allow it, emotional, mind patterns.
• Allowing implies that there is awareness, and the awareness is not a part of the condition, either in your head or in your external behavior pattern.

Automatic Ego Reaction

• You can learn about dysfunction by watching people.
• Ego defends mental position, mental image.
• Through the simple act of observation, you go beyond, and you don’t need defensiveness anymore.
• Learn by observing other human beings, and then, observing yourself.

Suffering Is Not Necessary

• Are you fed up enough with suffering or would you like to hang on to suffering?
• Unhappiness can only cling to mental image sense of little me.
• In the now, there are no problems, and there is no unhappiness.
• Freedom from pain is possible now.
• Pain arises by not being present to this moment, by running away internally from, by fighting, by denying what is.
• When you accept what is, the new state of consciousness immediately is present.
• You can’t separate acceptance of what is from the new state of thoughtless awareness.
• There is an energy field of pain that every human being inherits simply by the fact that you are born into the human condition, into the unenlightened, painful human condition. So, every human being has a share of human pain that comes even from birth.
• In you, there lives an energy field of residue of past human pain, on a personal level, pain from childhood that leaves energetic residues + far beyond that in time.
• Pain-body: energy field of pain that humans carry inside.

An Energy Field of Pain

• Pain-body is sometimes dormant & sometimes active.
• It needs feeding temporarily on the experience of further pain. This happens when relatively insignificant trigger produces an incredible outburst reaction of pain.
• It feeds on your thoughts when it’s ready to rise up. Will control your thinking, rise into the mind, and the mind, your thought activity becomes aligned with the pain-body. Every thought you think is destructive & painful.
• When the pain-body has taken you over, and has succeeded in pretending that that’s who you are, all your thinking is completely aligned with it. At that very moment, the last thing you want is to be free of the pain. At that moment, you are the pain-body.
• Feeds on your negative & destructive thinking.

Feeding the Pain-Body

• Pain-body feeds on your thinking; pain-body on the feedback from the emotional pain from other people, their reaction.
• Pain-body loves the drama. This is why drama is an essential part of most relationships.
• Unhappy sense of self becomes amplified. Unhappy sense of me becomes dreadfully unhappy, and loves its unhappiness.
• Even the pain-body is live energy stuck somewhere. When energy gets stuck, cannot flow freely, pain arises.
• Recognition is a beginning of freedom from it.
• Allow the pain that is there in you also to be. Bring the acceptance to the old pain. Watch it, feel it, allow it. Bring presence into it. You cut the link between the pain-body and your thought processes. It’s not feeding on your thinking anymore. You’re watching it.

The Transmutation of Pain

• The best time to catch & watch it is as it first arises in you.
• The more you watch, the less it can feed. It loses its energy charge.
• The egotistic state is one big contraption.
• You’ll have to do it many times. Next time you’ll catch it…
• The more often it comes, the better it is. If you have a strong pain-body, you’re lucky. It’s good for your practice. It can become a great teacher.

Session 3

Introduction

The Dissolving of Karma

• Karma: all the conditioning from the past including the past pain that you mistakenly believed as who you are. To be identified with all past conditioning, and to be condemned to relive and act out continuously your past conditioning.
• Use your relationships in your practice. Realize no matter who you choose as your partner, they will have a pain-body. Don’t look for an ideal partner without a pain-body. And, use the relationship because it’s so much easier to become aware of your own pain-body than if you live alone.
• Stay present when the pain-body arises in the other person instead of going into reactivity. Allow it. If your partner doesn’t want to cooperate, do it for yourself.
• Pain-body is not a personal problem. It’s a human condition. Every pain that you have in your life is your share of human condition manifesting in a particular form.

A Gentle Embracing of What Is

• The state of presence is always a gentle embracing of what is.
• Your acceptance of pain is complete, and that’s where your spiritual power lies.
• Men are more entrenched in their mind structures. Predominant for men is identification with their head.
• Make your pain-body into your ally. Forget about getting rid of it. Just watch it. That does it.

When Pain-Bodies Collide

• Anger has fiery quality to it. It arises like explosion.
• If you lose the witness, your partner becomes the witness for you.
• Aloofness is not presence. Presence is to open completely and allow your partner to be the way he/she is. Embrace either your own or his/her pain, and remain in the state of love.

Children and the Pain-Body

• Children absorb their parents’ pain-body.
• Bring consciousness to your own pain-body.
• Ask “Who was that monster?” afterwards.
• If your own pain-body has taken you over, admit it openly.
• Completely accept what’s irritating; allow it totally. Anything that you allow totally takes you into the state of great peace.

Unconsciousness at Work and at Home

• Do not expect others to be conscious.
• Relinquish the reactivity of the little me; allow unconsciousness in the other person.
• Most of the world still lives in unconsciousness. Don’t expect it to be otherwise.
• Relinquish the need to be understood by your parents.
• They did what they could do according to their level of consciousness. It was unconsciousness playing itself out. Forgiveness: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
• No matter what pain was inflicted on you in your childhood, as presence emerges, you realize that there is a dimension in you that was never touched. You don’t have to try to forgive. Forgiveness happens naturally as presence arises & you feel the vastness of who you truly are beyond the little me.
• The most transformation happens through allowing everyone to be who they are and the present moment to be as it is. Allow it to be. Your relationship with your parents improves dramatically when you give up the desire to be understood.
• “If you think you’re so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.”

The Pain of Great Loss

• 1^st level of surrender: surrender to what is; 2^nd level of surrender: surrender to what you feel.
• All is well. There is no death.
• Anything you cannot accept externally & pain arises, surrender to what you feel.

INTRODUCTION Opening the Door

• All too often, we decide to feeling fear is a good enough reason not to do something. Fear can stop us from doing what we want to do, and need to do in order to feel good about ourselves.

What Are You Afraid of . . . and Why?

LEVEL 1 FEARS

LEVEL 2 FEARS

LEVEL 3 FEAR

I CAN’T HANDLE IT!

AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR FEARS IS SIMPLY THE FEAR THAT YOU CAN’T HANDLE WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING YOU.

• You can handle all your fears without controlling anything in the outside world.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!

WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!

I’LL HANDLE IT!

Can’t You Make It Go Away?

TRUTH 1: THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW.

• Fear isn’t going to go away.
• You no longer have to work so hard in getting rid of the fear.

TRUTH 2: THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT.

• Doing it comes before fear goes away.

TRUTH 3: THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS TO GO OUT . . . AND DO IT.

• Doing it comes before the feeling better about yourself.

TRUTH 4: NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO EXPERIENCE FEAR WHENEVER I’M ON UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY, BUT SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.

• Everyone is afraid of an unfamiliar territory.

TRUTH 5: PUSHING THROUGH FEAR IS LESS FRIGHTENING THAN LIVING WITH A BIGGER, UNDERLINED FEAR THAT COMES FROM THE FEELING OF HELPLESSNESS.

• We can’t escape fear. We can only transform it from an anchor holding us in one spot to a companion that accompanies us through our many exciting adventures.

Five Truths about Fear

From Pain to Power

IF EVERYBODY FEELS FEAR WHEN APPROACHING SOMETHING TOTALLY NEW IN LIFE, YET SO MANY ARE OUT THERE “DOING IT” DESPITE THEIR FEAR, THEN WE MUST CONCLUDE THAT FEAR IS NOT THE PROBLEM.

• The real issue has nothing to do with the fear, but rather how we hold the fear.
• Move yourself from the position of pain to the position of power.

Whether You Want It or Not . . . It’s Yours

Seven Ways to Reclaim Your Power

I am powerful, and I am loving.

I am powerful, and I am loved.

I am powerful, and I love it.

• Do you see yourself as a victim, or are you taking responsibility for what happens to you in your life?
• You are in total control of your reaction to whatever happens in life.
• If we create our own misery, we can also create our own joy.

Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything that you are being, doing, having or feeling.

• Until you understand you and no one else create what goes on in your head, you’ll never in control of your life.
• When you blame any outside force for your experience of life, you’re giving away all your power.
• Griping is a habit, and needs to be replaced by something more positive.

Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

• Anything that takes away your power or pleasure makes you a victim.
• Understand you’ve always done the best that you possible could, given the person you were at any point in time.

Taking responsibility means knowing when and when you’re NOT taking responsibility, so that you can eventually change it.

• There’s only one person in the world who can make me happy or unhappy, and that is me.
• Signs of anger, upset, blaming others, pain, vengeance, self-pity, envy, helplessness, impatience, joylessness, fatigue, addictions, judgmental attitude, disappointment, jealousy . . . figure out what you’re not doing in your life that is causing you to feel that way.

Taking responsibility means handling your biggest enemy, your chatter box.

• Commit to replacing your chatter box with a loving voice.
• Once we get rid of negativity that our chatter box brings, we’ll begin to enjoy being alone.

Pollyanna Rides Again

• What makes negative thinking more realistic than positive thinking? There is an automatic assumption that negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic.
• Over 90% of what we worry never happens. Being realistic is far more realistic than being negative.
• The power of words – it doesn’t matter if we believe the words or not.
• Subconscious mind doesn’t know what is true or false. It doesn’t judge. It only reacts to the words that is fed.

Beginner’s Intensive for Positive Thinking

• Purchase a small portable cassette player.
• Pick up some inspirational & motivational tapes & books.
• Fill up some index cards with positive quotes & affirmations.
  “Ships in harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships are not built for.”

• “I’m breaking through all the patterns, and moving forward with my life.”
• “I am now creating my perfect relationship.”
• “I am drawing to me all good things.”
• “My world is filled with abundance.”
• “I am creating a beautiful day.”
• “I relax, and let go.”
• “I make a difference.”
• “There is plenty of time.”

1. Always state them in the present: I am now handling my fears, not I’m going to handle my fears.
2. Always phrase in the positive, rather than the negative: I am becoming more confident, not I am no longer putting myself down. 

o   Don’t quit. It is a life-long process.

o   Don’t use positive thinking as an excuse for denial.

o   Pain is a part of life. In the end, there will be much to be learned from any pain that we experience.

When “They” Don’t Want You to Grow

IT IS AMAZINGLY EMPOWERING TO HAVE THE SUPPORT OF A STRONG, MOTIVATED AND INSPIRATIONAL GROUP OF PEOPLE.

BELIEVE THAT YOUR MATE WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND THAT HE OR SHE WILL ULTIMATELY LOVE THE POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOU.

How to Make a No-Lose Decision

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE RISKS.

Before Making a Decision

YOU’RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT; YOU’RE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU TRY.

After Making a Decision

NO-LOSE DECISION-MAKING PROGRESS

BEFORE MAKING A DECISION

AFTER MAKING A DECISION

NO-WIN DECISION-MAKING PROGRESS

BEFORE MAKING A DECISION

AFTER MAKING A DECISION

Exercises

IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER

SO WHAT! I’LL HANDLE IT!

How Whole Is Your “Whole Life”?

ACTION IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS

Just Nod Your Head¾Say “Yes!”

IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR.

• Unexpected events or even the possibility of the unexpected sets us up for a great deal of fear. We anticipate the worst.
• When you say yes, you diminish your fear.
• Saying no means to be a victim. It creates apathy: I can’t cope; I can’t go on; there is no hope.
• Saying yes is only our hope.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF PAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT; DENIAL IS DEADLY.

SAYING YES MEANS GETTING UP AND ACTING ON YOUR BELIEF THAT YOU CAN CREATE MEANING AND PURPOSE IN WHATEVER LIFE HANDS YOU.

THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HANDED THE “WORST” LIFE HAS TO OFFER . . . AND THEY HAVE COME OUT WINNERS!

• Cf. Victor Frankle’s, “Man’s Search For Meaning”
• Create a positive experience of what life handed them.
• Apathy could be overcome. Irritability suppressed.

Summary

STEPS TO SAYING YES

Choosing Love and Trust

• Most of us operate on hidden barter system.

IF ALL YOUR “GIVING” IS ABOUT “GETTING,” THINK HOW FEARFUL YOU WILL BECOME.

• If all your giving is about getting, think how fearful you’ll become, and more than likely the question will soon become am I getting back enough. This kind of thinking sets up a voracious need to control other so you don’t feel short-changed. It can destroy your peace of mind, and create anger & resentment.
• Metaphorically, we remained frightened that no one will come to relieve our hunger. When we are fearful, we can’t genuinely give. We are imbued with a deep-seated sense of scarcity in the world as if there weren’t enough to go around.

GENUINE GIVING IS NOT ONLY ALTRUISTIC; IT ALSO MAKES US FEEL BETTER.

WHEN WE GIVE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, RATHER THAN FROM A PLACE OF EXPECTATION, MORE USUALLY COMES BACK TO US THAN WE COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED.

Give Away Thanks

• Anger is poisonous to your life, and creates a huge amount of fear in very subtle ways.

Give Away Information

• Give others as much help as you can possibly give them.

Give Away Praise

YOU MUST BECOME WHAT YOU WANT TO ATTRACT. BE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WOULD WANT TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.

Give Away Time

• Listen to your friend’s problem.

Give Away Money

• Within reason, give it away.

Give Away Love

• Let someone be who they are without trying to change them.

YOUR LIFE IS ABUNDANT, AND YOU COUNT!

• Every night before you go to bed, list 50 things that day that you have to be grateful for.
• When we are the givers, we have nothing to fear.

Filing the Inner Void

• Like attracts like.

IF WE DO NOT CONSCIOUSLY AND CONSISTENTLY FOCUS ON THE SPIRITUAL (HIGHER) PART OF OURSELVES, WE WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THE KIND OF JOY, SATISFACTION AND CONNECTEDNESS WE ARE ALL SEEKING.

• It takes practice & vigilance.

WHY CHOOSE TO BE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HAPPY WHEN THERE IS NO WAY TO BE RIGHT?

There Is Plenty of Time

• Being impatience is simply a way of beating yourself up. It creates stress, dissatisfaction, and fear.
• Your mind has to be changed first. All that is right will follow.
• Know that you count, and if you don’t believe it, act as if you do.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Global Metaphors

• Figure of speech that usually implies that comparison between two things that really aren’t alike
  Cf. Broken heart
• We don’t experience reality; we experience our representation of reality: We have emotional reactions to however we represent our world
• Metaphor is a way of transferring understanding by taking something that we already understand and attaching it to a new idea
  Cf. Jesus Christ
• We have to be selective in the metaphors that we utilize
• Is / Like / As
  Cf. “What is life like?”
  Cf. “I’m blacking out.”
• We oftentimes make metaphors as if they are real. They are just figures of speech. We respond to them like they are real.
  ”I’m at the end of the rope.” → Put the rope down and walk away

Whenever we have a pattern of looking at the world, or making things up in our heads, we do something radical to interrupt that pattern, and keep interrupting it, pretty soon we can’t get back into it. Anytime you find you constructed your world in a way that creates limitations, interrupt it, and replace with power, with something loving, fun.

• Be flexible in using metaphors: What you’re doing isn’t working, change your metaphors.
  Cf. Stonecutter: Just because you’re not getting feedback you want initially doesn’t mean that you’re making progress.
• Whether people know or not, they’ve got metaphors for themselves
• Consciously select your own metaphors
  Cf. Success coach
  Cf. PIE Trucking Service
• Anytime you hear a metaphor that creates limits, just step in and offer a new one. Offer a new possibility. Break a pattern and give him a new choice including yourself.

Write down:

1. What is life? Write all of them down.
   If life is this, then what does it mean to me?
2. All the metaphors that you link to relationship or marriage
   Take a look at those metaphors. Are they empowering or disempowering?
3. Take another area of life that impacts you most. Cf. What is learning for yourself?
4. Create new ones that you’ve never thought of before and decide you’re gonna live those for the next 30 days.

Unconscious system for evaluating what things mean and what we should do

It’s determining our actions every day, therefore our destiny.

1. State that you’re in mentally and emotionally
2. Questions you ask yourself: “How can I turn this around?” “How can I utilize this experience to make my life greater?”
3. Values
4. Belief systems: All of these preconceived notions that we developed within ourselves are filtering our experience of life on a daily basis
5. References (experiences of your life)

a)   Conscious experience

b)   Unconscious experience (filtered inside your brain)

Giant file box in your brain with everything that you’ve seen, heard, tasted, touched, smelled is all stored

Organized references: Beliefs (feeling of certainty about what something means)

Cf. “I believe I’m really intelligent.”

References: Legs of belief
Cf. “I’m sexy:” We can take references for virtually anything, then make them back up any idea we want.
Our references are shaping our life. Most of us are not paying attention to how we are interpreting references much less focusing on how we get the references we need in order to success and achieve our goals

Your imagination is a source of references: Anyone who’s created anything had to create a sense of certainty within themselves if they could achieve that they go (?)

Cf. Columbus

Your imagination is 10 times more powerful than your willpower.  

Cf. Lee Iacocca

Cf. Akio Morita: He focused in his mind on what he wanted things to be right and he believed with absolute faith and certainty his vision (?).

• Because you haven’t done something doesn’t mean that you can’t.
• Because you try something and fail again and again doesn’t mean the next time you won’t succeed.
• The past does not equal the future.
• It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.
• Whatever you’re feeling is what you’re focusing on.
• You can borrow references of other people.
  Cf. Les Misérables
• Limited references create limited life.
  Cf. Joe Fritz’s (?) widow: “Everyday we gotta live to our fullest together.”
• References are not real: they are only what you’ve focused on. What you pull from them is what’s gonna shape your life.
• If you take events of today, and put meaning on them immediately, you may be prejudging. Maybe your bad days aren’t so bad after all.
• Loss is imaginary. Everything in the universe only changes form. Nothing ever disappears. “Even though I don’t know what this has happened, I’m willing to trust. Someday I will. I’m willing to trust my creator.” − leap of faith. Cf. Billy Joel “God’s delays are not God’s denials.” Cf. Mr. Morita
• You’re gonna have good days and you’re gonna have bad days. You’re not gonna know which ones they really are until much later in your life.
• Look for beliefs that empower you. “What would I have to believe in order to feel this way?” Awareness alone can be curative.
• False Evidence that Appears Real

Expand your life by expanding your references.

Negative thinking, if you look at it positively, can also create.

• Giving up is the ultimate danger.
• The power of positive thinking: The ability to generate a feeling of certainty in yourself when nothing in your environment supports you.
• Learn to create certainty in the face of fear.
• Out of fear, most people constantly focus on the worst that could happen.
• “Getting excited, really going for it equals pain. I’d better not even try.”
• What we think about daily is what’s determining how we feel, what actions we take and therefore, each day what we think about is shaping our destiny.
• Friends can poison you.
• We’ve gotta watch our minds. Gravity is constant; negativity is constant.
• You want to find a problem in somebody you care about, you’ll find it. “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find.”
• Be “realistic.” = Be negative.

Step #1 in Life

See life as it is.

Step #2

See it better than it is.

Step #3

Make it the way you want it.

5 steps to utilize the power of positive thinking and use negative thinking in an assignment.

Step 1

Focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong

Focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t have

• Make it a habit; habits form the chain of your ultimate character

• Go on a mental diet
• “Seven Day Mental Diet”
• Immediately focus on something good
• Immediately do not allow yourself to hold a negative feeling and a negative thought for 7 straight days

  Be positive about solutions instead of problems

  Notice what’s great about a situation

Step 2

Decide to become curious about others instead of judgmental

• If you judge other people, you’re judging yourself intensely
• If you’re angry with other people, you’re angry with yourself

• “He was without sin; let him cast the first stone.”

  Free yourself from the disease of making others wrong and free yourself from the disease of making yourself wrong

Step 3

Find something to appreciate from any seemingly negative person or situation and develop the habit of giving compliments

• Toughest times in your life sometimes provide you with the real resources to change your life
• Appreciate where we are right now

• Seeing what you don’t have is sometimes useful, too
• Appreciate what isn’t working
• Balance between positive and negative thinking on human scale: 98% of the times positive; 2% critical in thinking

Step 4

Decide not to be perfect

• Instead of being negative and beating yourself: “Here’s another example of me sabotaging myself,“ decide what you do want
• “I’m not perfect, but I’m good.”
• “As soon as I notice I’m not on track, I correct it and I get better.”
• Your goal each is to get better, not to be perfect.
• If you don’t make a catastrophe, it’s easier to bounce right back up
• Only way to fail is if you quit

Step 5

Decide to develop the habit of using ‘faith’

• Create certainty inside yourself
• I’m going to have courage to overcome my fears and to take actions
• “You have made it this far.”

  Faith is your ultimate power

Information X Focus = Personal Reality

• Garbage in; garbage out
• Bad news sells
• Nay saying is not new
  Cf. Walt Disney got turned down 302 bankers
  Cf. Rain man
• A person’s reality is completely controlled by the information that you have available to you and you have focused upon
• Pursue the quality information that would nourish your life
• Learn to trust your instinct
  Cf. John Templeton
• There’s a price for going with the flow, and that price is the pain of giving up your dreams and taking the fall of those who failed to think for themselves (?) must’ve been an inevitable experience.

It’s not what happens. It’s what you do with what happens in your life that shapes your life.

Power of Identity

We’ll behave consistent with our identity even if our identity is negative

Who are you?

• Your beliefs control your behavior. Cf. frog & scorpion
• Your behavior is consistent with your identity even if the identity is negative.
• Be careful with the label that you create for yourself or you allow others to give you
• In our culture, consistency is constantly rewarded: tends to walk you into whatever identity that you used to have
• The level of thinking that has gotten you where you are is not what is going to get us to where we want to go

Consciously define yourself

• Once you define them that way, nothing is going to change your opinion; once you put that label upon yourself, your future behavior and therefore the results of your life will be colored by it. Cf. Korean war

• In your gut, who are you?
  • Are you a leader or are you a follower?
  • Are you a person that makes a difference or are you a victim?
  • Are you someone who constantly tries to figure out how to grow or are you somebody who is constantly looking for an excuse?
  • Are you merely a collection of “have-it” patterns or something deeper, something richer?
  • Are you merely your past or who you’re defining it now?

• Those elements that you use to describe yourself with conviction = identity

• Start with how you already define yourself

1)   Job, role

2)   Emotion

3)   Occupation

4)   Metaphor

5)   Feedback from the past

6)   Spiritual beliefs

7)   Looks

8)   Accomplishments

9)   Future

Essence of your life

Write who you are, describe yourself to yourself

• Most are not conscious about what our beliefs are about who we are
• If we get conscious about our beliefs, take a real good look, we’re merely start seeing what the limitations are in our beliefs, and we’ll also see some of the benefits.

How would you be if you’re already living your dream?

Go out and do some of the things that the person like this would do

Ritual

• You gotta such a conviction about who you are that nobody can sway you
• You know who you are inside regardless whether you are going to get results or not in the short term
  Cf. Kunta Kinte, Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah
• Think of what would be a nice ritual for you

Your life is defined by your beliefs, your convictions of who you are; your perception of who you are. That is what’s gotta change.

1. Find out first what you’ve been believing about yourself
   You can find references to back up the idea that anybody is a good person or anybody is a bad person.
2. Begin to question those limiting beliefs
   ”Am I my past or am I who I decide to be now?” You’re cut out for whatever you decided to be cut out for

Emotions are the ultimate power

How do you deal with your emotions right now?

1. Avoid them
   If you are always trying to avoid rejection, you’re never going to succeed
   Ultimate fear of rejection keeps people out of relationships
   You can’t ever avoid completely negative rejections, and they cause us to grow
2. Endure it (but deny it)
   This erupts
3. Use it for competition
4. Learn from them, and utilize them
   You feel loved because you choose at that moment to create those feelings within yourself. You have some rules, some criteria that say when XYZ happens, then I get to feel loved.

What we feel is not based on our experience, but again on our interpretation of our experience

• When we don’t follow our own rules, don’t live by our own values, by own life standards, we certainly give ourselves pain as a way to keep ourselves on track
• Negative emotions are a signal that a change is needed.
• A signal of fear is you must prepare.

Every emotion has a message for you.

1. Identify what the emotion is
2. Acknowledge and appreciate the message it’s offering you
3. Get curious about what it’s offering you
4. Get yourself to feel reassured by seeing “Hey, you’ve worked this out in the past. You’ve made it through this before.”
5. Get yourself certain that you can handle anything like it in the future by rehearsing using this emotion as empowerment
6. Take action and change all your life

Take and create a model for each category of emotion

1. Uncomfortable: boredom, impatient, uneasy, distressed, mildly embarrassed
2. Fear: concern, apprehension, worry, anxiety, scared, terrified
3. Hurt: Comes from a sense of loss
4. Anger: mildly irritated, angry, livid, resentful, furious, enraged
5. Frustration: held back or hindered
6. Disappointment: sad, defeated as a result of something you expect but didn’t work out very well
7. Guilt & regret
8. Inadequacy: less man, unworthy
9. Overloaded: overwhelmed, hopeless, depressed
10. Lonely: “separate from”

How would you feel if you know you can instantly get out of that feeling no matter how intense that event?

To master your emotion

1. Identify the signal: Figure out which one of these categories does it go into
   Get down to the core emotion that really is controlling you
   Action signals: reevaluate the way you are perceiving something or the way you are preceding, the way you communicate your feelings to other people or the way you are behaving around other people or situation
   Cf. Rejection

1)   Uncomfortable

2)   Change your state

3)   Clarify what you want

4)   Take action in that direction: Communicate your desire or do something that expresses it

5)   Make sure you do something until you achieve what you want and you’re no longer uncomfortable

Or

1)   Hurt

2)   There is expectation that you have has not been met: A sense of loss

3)   Clarify what has to be changed

4)   Negative emotion → action signal

a)   Perception: Do we have some rules that are inappropriate in this situation?

b)   Procedure: Change the way you communicate; the way you’re behaving

Cf. If you ignore signal a message, one of these action signals: hurt, fearful, angry, frustrated, disappointed, overloaded, that signal intensifies

2. Appreciate the message. Respect that emotion

Message 10 Signals Give You

1. Uncomfortable
2. Change your state
3. Clarify what you want
4. Take action in the direction of what you want

1. Fear: concern, apprehension, worry, anxiety, scared, frightened, terrified
2. Prepare yourself to deal with something or avoid the negative consequences of something that’s coming up
   Cf. fear of failure: valuable fear
   Cf. IRS, speech

Or

As prepared as you can get: Have some faith

3. Change your perception
4. Decide to become confident to focus on it working instead of not working

1. Hurt
2. Your expectation has not been met
3. Evaluate if it really is a loss here
4. Change your way to communicate your needs or your behavior

1. Anger: irritation, livid, furious, enraged, resentful
2. Your important rule has been violated by someone else or even you
3. Communicate that’s only your rule but you need their help: Change the way you’re communicating; change your procedure

Or

Anger is usually an outward (?) hurt

4. You’ve got a lot of hurt built up that you haven’t expressed them
5. Change your perception: Maybe the person wasn’t trying to hurt you at all

Or

Change procedure: communicate better what your real needs are

Or

Change you

Anger: You need to clarify what your rules are and get them to meet them or you need to compromise them possibly. Those are just your standards

1. Frustration
2. Change your approach to achieving your goals: Be flexible in the situation
   Cf. Insanity: tempting to getting a new result by doing the same thing over and over again

1. Disappointment
2. Maybe you want something to happen in too short a period of time; come up with more appropriate outcome for the time that you have involved and the people that you have involved and the situation that you have involved

1. Guilt / regret
2. Guilt serves you if you hear the message: You have violated one of your own standards; you must do something immediately to ensure you’re not going to violate again in the future
   If you deny the guilt & don’t get the message, the guilt is gonna come back
   If you surrender the guilt, you’ll feel inferior for the rest of your life
3. Identify the signal: “I’m feeling regret / guilt.”
4. Appreciate the message: You need to change your perception / procedure or change your future behavior / way to communicate

Utilize it. Don’t wallow in it.

1. Inadequacy
2. Get excited; appreciate it’s offering you a message
3. You need to do something to get better in this category right away; Doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect at it

Or

“Is this really an appropriate emotion?’ → “Am I really inadequate or do I need to change the way I’m perceiving things?” → Change your criteria: you probably have rules that are too harsh

1. Overloaded; overwhelmed; hopeless; depressed
2. Change your state (for hopeless & depression)
3. You need to re-evaluate what’s most important in this situation
   Necessity vs. Desire
   Write down all the things that are more import things to accomplish
4. Put them in order of priority
5. Take the first one on the list and do something about it.

1. Lonely
2. Connection with people

Every feeling you have, good or bad, is not based the actual reality of life, rather your interpretation of what things mean. Nothing in life has a meaning except the meaning you give it.

Define True Success to Yourself

• Success comes through a consistent increase in the quality of your life
• Absolute consistency creates the fabric of success for our life time
• Spiritual life, Emotional life, physical life, mental life, relationships, business
• Are you truly successful right now in your life?

Emotional life

• Passion
• Compassion
• Courage;
• Are you shaping yourself or allowing the environment to shape you?
• Is the improvement constant?

All those incremental changes constantly come together. They accumulate to create momentum in your life.

Physical Body

• Physical vitality and energy

Relationships

• Either climbing or sliding: no plateau

Finances

• Are you consistently finding ways to increase the quality of your economic life?

Time

• Store time to increase the quality of the time that you do have instead of just complaining about there’s no time for anything

The sense of increasing qualities in every area of life

How to Change the Quality Of Life

• Take action!
• Get award that there’s a challenge

No matter how good something is, the only way we can enjoy the quality in our life, true success is through consistency, though consistent action

How do we get ourselves to consistently act in a way that causes us to really increase the quality of your life daily and enjoy it?

What controls all of our actions?

• Decision is the father of action.
• Action creates the results of our life

2 elements that control every decision you make, therefore every action you take, and therefore the increase in quality or lack thereof

• Standards (values and essence)  
• Beliefs

CANI!

A Commitment to Constant and Never-Ending Improvement

• It gets better by daily gradual improvement in each of areas of our lives
• Just to keep what you have, you have to be improving: Things don’t stay static
• Commit to everyday finding some small way to constantly and never-endingly improve each and every area of your life

The more you improve yourself, the more you have to give, the better you feel about yourself

Profound Knowledge

Information, strategies, or distinctions that are simple and universally applicable: The minute you understand them, you can use to increase the quality of your life

Cf. Mitsubishi Eclipse vs. Chrysler Plymouth Laser

Cf. Dr. Edward Deming: “Quality always costs less.”

The only time that you and I are happy is when we know that we’re growing, and we’re only gonna grow if everyday we’re trying to improve.

Why most people never really succeed

1)   They don’t set a high enough standard

2)   They believe they can achieve it

Cf. John Wooden

Master is willing to do “boring” things every single day and find a way to improve it.

Repetition with CANI! with a commitment to constant never-ending improvement creates life’s mastery.

Three Question To Ask Myself Everyday

1. What did I learn today?
2. What have I improved or contributed? Attention span, touch, focus, the way you use physiology, the way you say thank you, the way you look in someone’s eyes…
3. What have I enjoyed? Not taking things for granted. Not needing things to be bigger for us to be able to appreciate them.

Asking the right questions and doing it consciously and effectively…

1. Think about and experience and realize the power and impact of questions to change the way you feel, think, make decisions to shape the entire life
2. Sensitize you to the questions you’re already asking yourself
   Whatever you ask for, you’ll get: “Seek and you shall receive. Ask and you shall receive.”
3. Develop some new question for yourself that empower you, create new possibility
4. “Your entire world can change at any moment in time just by asking a new question.”
   Whatever I’m experiencing in life is not based on life itself, but what I’m focusing on.
   Focus = reality
   If you want to your reality, change your focus. If you want to change your focus, change the questions you’re asking yourself.

Whatever we’ve asked for, you’ll get an answer whether it’s true or not.

Cf. “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”

Cf. Martin Luther King Jr.

Cf. Theory of Relativity: What if…: possibility question

The quality of life is the quality of questions you ask yourself

If you don’t get it, keep asking. The answer will come. (Most people have the habit of asking disempowering questions.)

3 Things Accomplished By Asking Questions

1. Changes focus; therefore state
   Cf. What could I learn from this? What do I respect about this guy? Who do I love and who loves me? What am I grateful for? What’s great in my life?
2. Changes what you’re considering and what you delete from your life
   Human beings are deletion creatures
   If you’re feeling sad, it’s because you’re deleting all the reasons you could be feeling good
3. Give us access to new resources, power

Questions can create momentum and questions can be used to stop momentum if you’re asking new kinds of questions

2 Kinds of Questions

Empowering questions

1. Provides new understanding
2. Focuses you on solutions instead of problems
3. Moves you to action
4. Makes you responsible (able to respond to what’s going on) and gives you the power to make a change
5. Makes you have a deeper sense of meaning to your life
6. Helps you to lean anything from the situation or helps you or other people to feel empowered

Disempowering questions

1. Focuses you on purely the problem and not the solution
2. Makes the problem bigger than really is
3. Makes you unresourceful to put you in a step state
4. Feel like you’re responsible but there’s nothing you can do about it
5. Endless loop: “Why me, God?”

If you want a unique experience, ask a unique question with total expectancy for answers, and if you don’t get the right answer, keep asking it with consistency and intensity.

Why me? vs. How can I use this?

Questions provide answers; questions change you life, but ask empowering questions.

Another 2 Types of Questions

Possibility questions: “What if?”

• Open up your whole life

Necessity questions: “What must I do?”

The Third Way of Chucking Questions

Matching-Oriented Questions

Mismatching-Oriented Questions

• “What if it doesn’t work?”
• Cf. Somebody is rude to me: “How could this person dare do this to me?” → “I wonder what makes this person treat people this way?”

1. Think of the times when you really got upset and what were you saying to yourself?
2. Write down a better solution / question

Stand guard at the door of your mind

• From those seeds, your tomorrow is going to grow.
• It takes years to build something of value, and yet it can be destroyed in minutes.
• Think like the masses; never live your dream
• Success is found in that hidden area that most people won’t look at
• Do something different
• Trust your instinct
• Social proof: Psychology of the crowd is one of fear.
• B yourself.
• Your vision needs to be brought to reality by continually focusing on solution, not problem.
  Cf. Thomas Jefferson: The tyranny of the majority
• Experts often think the same
• Imagination of more powerful than intellect.
• Within our view of what’s possible, we create the possible.
• You gotta study what makes sense to YOU
  Cf. Jim Jones: Kool-Aid
• When people are not sure what to do, they look to somebody who seems to be certain, but because they are certain doesn’t mean that they are right.
• Be sensitive about the sources of information that we currently have, how we pursue new information & what we focus on
• Information Shapes Our Destiny

Five Information Challenges

Information is worthless without a purpose

• Reticular Activating System: constantly determining what information you’re receiving from the world is significant enough for you to notice and evaluate
  Cf. a new car, a new outfit
• Know what your purpose is when you’re pursuing information
• Get clear on your purposes of your life physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and in relationships, finance, and business; know what’s most important

Information deficit

• What you don’t know will hurt you
• It’s not enough just to be confident; you gotta be competent
• Make sure you’re up to date

Information pollution

• Cf. “Eating chocolate can actually reduce cavities.”
• Someone is giving you information that clearly has a secondary game.
  Cf. DES
  Cf. Disinformation campaign
• The cheapest commodity on earth is advice
• It’s really easy to criticize than actually produce the results that they are talking about

Information overload

• What is the best source of my information?
• What information do I specifically need to get a hold of?
• What is the timeline for this?

Whatever you feed on consistently will shape your life

• Find someone who produces the results
• All you need to do is feed your mind
• Focusing on what we don’t want only causes us to drive into the very walls we’re trying to avoid
• You’re in the midst of the battle between the limits of the crowd seeking the surrender of your dreams and the power of your true vision
• Man is more than his environment
• Dream is back up by unrelenting will to attain it is truly our reality with an eminent bearing

Master System for Creating Change

Six steps to change anything you need to change now

1. Change the way you feel about something
2. Change your behavior

Interrupt the pattern; replace with something more effective

Cf. Overwhelmed: Develop the pattern of chucking things down into bite-size steps

Decide what do you want and what’s preventing you from getting it right now

• What do you want to change to? What do you really want?
• Clarity as to what you truly want and what’s stopping you
• You always know what’s holding you back and the minute you become aware of it you can change it
• You’re linking more pain to change than staying where you are; we have this desperate need for certainty; uncertainty means you might experience even more pain: s sense of uncertainty
• Jot down what up until now, what has prevented you from taking the action necessary to make this change

Change happens in a moment

Get leverage on yourself

• Make your pleasant behavior or emotion so painful; change becomes an absolute must
• You’re getting angry all the time; you’re doing it to yourself
• Change is not a matter of capability, it’s of motivation
• Secondary game: Cf. injury → attention
• Feel so compelled about the thing you’re going to change to
• Link pain to not changing: “What am I missing out on?”

Think about the pain what you’ve missed on & make it real

What would you get instead?

• 80% of making the change is having a strong enough why; 20 is knowing how

Cf. a fly on the window

Interrupt your old pattern that’s holding you back

• Do something out of the ordinary, unexpected
• Cf. Interrupted in your conversation; “What happened?”

Visual Scrambling Technique

1. Close your eyes
2. Think of something you’re committed to changing. Thank of some element of that. Something you really want instead. What do you want to change to? Make sure you’re committed to change this now. 
3. See it like a normal movie.
4. Run it backwards fast to the beginning.
5. Run it forwards
6. Backwards
7. Forwards
8. Backwards
9. Cf. Pinocchio, Dumbo, weird cartoon music
10. 20 – 25 times
11. Change the colors with everything in it: rainbow colors in faces
12. Scramble back & forward
13. Put a smile on your face

ü  The more outrages your pattern is, the more effective it will be

Write down 10 brainstorm ideas on how to break the pattern

Circle the top 3 best & use them

Create an empowering alternative

Make your list

Condition your new pattern until it remains consistent

Whatever we re-enforce will eventually become condition within us

Our mind cannot tell the difference between something we imagine and we actually experience

Write down a couple of things you can do that it becomes a condition

Test It!

Future Pace

1. Sit down
2. Close your idea
3. Imaging the situation where you think that you have made the change
4. Notice how you feel

(Business Process) Reengineering

Regeneration

Reinvent

1. Vision
2. Decision
3. Communicate that this is what you’re committed to

Reengineer

• How you’re gonna organize thing so that you can consistently get things this new identity

Reassure the people that are involved

Retrain

Revitalize

• Take an immediate action on your plan
• Never leave the sight of setting a goal without doing something towards its attainment

No one has no choice except the person who believes in it

• The ability to consistently anticipate change before it occurs
• We’ve gotta be able to anticipate where everyone is going around us so we can meet their needs
• Paradigm: an accepted way of thinking
  Cf. The world is flat
  Cf. Tennis
• Not only change is inevitable, but it is to our advantage
• Practice CANI with the level of anticipation: innovate not just improve
  Cf. Search of Excellence
• Ignorance is unemployment

Five Approaches to Avoid the Traps Caught up in Your Own Paradigm & Psychology of How Human Behavior Becomes a Pattern: How we create a trend

Beware the unquestioned conviction

• What was possible yesterday is probably today
• Break out and at least consider another possibility

Change is certain

• It’s not the change that bothers them so much, but the fact that they are ready for the change

Break our pattern of thinking in a linear fashion

• You can’t assume that the status quo will remain
• Thank cyclically versus linearly

Ask questions no one else has the courage to ask

Become a student of possibility, potentiality

• The fastest way to get the diversity is reading

• Become a student of necessity
• Become a student of consequences & inevitability
  Cf. Gun Vs. Knife
• Become a student of cultural pain, pain in relationships, pain within businesses
• Became a student of value
  Cf. John Templeton: my ability to value what a company or product or service is worth

1. Just wait for things to happen and to try to react to them and lose the edge and experiences lots of pain
2. Anticipate changes and trends by noticing what’s going on around you, becoming sensitive, making a priority and utilize that information to improve the quality of your life
3. Become a trend creator. Become a paradigm shifter.
   Cf. Bill Gates, Tom Watson

1)   Get clear on what’s your vision

2)   Ask questions no one is asking
Cf. Joe Barker’s Future Vision: “What’s currently impossible in my industry that if it was possible it would all the rules of the game?”
Asking this what if type of question helps you break out of the paradigm and start to create new paradigms

3)   If it makes sense, break the rule
Life rewards those who contribute on a massive scale

Achieving Your Ultimate Goals

To be happy

What Is Happiness?

• Nothing on the outside, neither accomplishment nor cocaine will ever make us happy long term.
• You can be happy right now
• An unlimited sense of happiness and joy is your natural state.
• Could you just feel it?
• You have these rules as to what has to happen to feel good
• Life is not an outcome; it is a process

8 Keys to Unleashing Your Happiness

Happiness is a natural state

• In order to be unhappy, you gotta develop false beliefs about what life is
• Happiness is not a reward; the reward is life itself. Happiness is nothing but a state. Feeling good is a state of mind and emotion.

How to Claim Happiness

1. Change the way you’re using your body
   Breathing
   Facial expression: a big smile on your face
2. Change your focus & change the level of your happiness

Memory Management

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that you give it and the meaning that you give things are usually based on what you choose to focus on

Ask Happy Questions

• Ask empowering questions
• “Ask and you shall receive.”
  Cf. “What could I be happy about if I wanted to be happy about something?” “What am I enjoying in my life right now?” “What can I be excited about if I wanted to be excited?” “What’s really wonderful about my life?” “What’s great about this?” “What’s working?”
• Disempowering questions: “How must long will this last?’ “Can I survive this?” → “Will this even matter 10 years from now?’

Learn To Be a Perceiver Instead Of a Judger

• Cf. a surprise birthday party
• Allow yourself to perceive and wait and see what does it really mean
• Many times, knowledge closes the door
• “Is there any other possible meaning that this could have?” “Will be a better way of looking at this that empowers me and others?”

Learn How to Use Your Brain Instead Of Having It Use You

• Principle of Contrast
  Cf. shoes

Soften Your Rules

• Cf. a super woman
• More ways to feel happy and less way to be unhappy

Use Happy Words to Describe the Way You’re Feeling on a Consistent Basis

Develop a habitual vocabulary that is filled with words that create pleasurable emotions within you

• Enjoyment, euphoria, a sense of well-being, sense of contentment, ease, comfort, coziness, gratification, satisfaction, luxury, to relish something, sweetness, entertainment, happiness, gladness, delight, joy, joyfulness, cheer, cheerfulness, exaltation, exuberance, glee, sunshine, overjoyed, intoxicated, jubilation, celebration, gladdened, feasted, fascinated, captivated, enthralled, enchanted, tickled, thrilled, basking in, starry-eyed, glowing, radiant…
• Pay attention to the vocabulary you use consistently

Write down the words you want to use on a regular basis to describe how you’re feeling, how you’re doing in your life, and make sure that they are words that amplify the positive emotion

Hold Yourself to a New Standard

• Adopt a belief that not to be happy is to be a failure
• Being happy is the only real success; we always get what we focus on

Definition of Success

1. How happy are you?
2. How happy are the people who are around you?

You can feel so good while you build your empire. You don’t have to wait to feel good.

The world is as you see it. It’s your mind, not the world the source of all your experience.

Break through fears and limitations

• Fear of failure
• Fear of success
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of pain
• Fear of the unknown

The quality of my life is the quality of my personal communication.

• No matter of what happens to you in your life, it’s not what happens that makes the difference in quality of your life, rather what you do with what happens.
• For things to get better, “you” have to get better.

Knowledge is not enough

Personal Power

The ability to take action

Ex. Colonel Sanderson: You must try; get yourself in action until you succeed

It doesn’t matter who intelligence you have. What matters is how much action you can produce

Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion; affirmation with discipline produces results

3 Steps to Personal Power

Energy

Skill

1. Skill or ability to specifically define exactly what it is that you want
2. Skill or ability to specifically define exactly what others want; fill others needs quickly & elegantly

Turning Fear into Power

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)

How language verbal or non-verbal affects your nerve system

• Anything that any human being can do, so can I. We all share the same neurology; we all have the same nerve system. It’s a matter of how to use it.

Modeling

Three Keys to Duplicating Any Form of Human Excellence

1. The belief systems of the successful person
   Whether you say you can do something or whether you say you can’t, you are right
2. Mental syntax: the order in which we use our five senses determines what part of our brain and nerve system we use in the kinds of results we generate
   “Johnny bit the dog.” – Order and sequence
3. Physiology: posture, breathing patterns, tonality, facial expressions, muscular tension / relaxation: determines how people use their brains

7 Disciplines of Success

1. I always act from personal power
   Fear prevents people from taking action
   Fear of failure: The biggest fear
   “I realize that there are no failures. There are only results / outcomes.” “I always succeed in producing results.”
2. “I’m totally responsible for my world. I create every experience in life. I take charge of my life”
   As you think, so you become
3. I’m always stretching. If you can’t, you must.

1)   Make a commitment to yourself to something that seems to be beyond your present ability

2)   Make a public declaration to keep people to make a huge difference and causing you to do whatever it takes to succeed

3)   Model someone who’s already producing the results

4)   Follow the model and if you don’t know what to do, act if as you do: Take away the limiting beliefs and allow you to get access to resources that you really have as an incredibly human being

4. “I’m committed to unconscious competence rather than cognitive understating.”
   Cf. Electricity
   Pick the fruits and study the routes later
5. I always act from personal integrity.
   Your integrity is deferent than mine.
   “No matter how thin you slice, there’s always two sides.”
   I always lie with integrity: Remember your beliefs are just your own and keep your beliefs. As long as you believe they are true, make sure your daily actions match your belief systems.
6. The meaning of the communication is the response that you get
   If you want them to get your communication, change your approach

7 Character Traits of Super-Successful People

1. Passion
   “What could I get passion about life right now?”
2. Belief to achieve
3. Strategies
4. Values
   Clear about what’s most important in your life
   Look at your values and look at the ways in which you could have your values working together rather than fighting each other
5. Energy
   Change some of your dietary patterns
6. Bonding power
   Have the sense of connection with others
7. Communication skills

For far too many, the dream is dissipated and with it, so is the will to shape our destinies.

Concentration of Power

Controlled focus is like a laser beam.

How can I take immediate control of my life? What can I do today to really make a difference that can help make me shape my destiny?

Take control of our consistent action

Decisions: everything that happens in your life begins with your decision

Set a baseline standard for what you’re accepting in your life

“Tell me a functional family.”

It’s not conditions of your life that determines your destiny; it’s your decision.

Get past your excuses.

Make a “real” decision. Making a true decision means cutting off any other possibility. Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result and cutting yourself off from any other possibility.

“I am not discouraged because every wrong discarded is another step forward.” – Thomas Edison

3 Decisions to Control Our Destiny

• Your decision on what to focus on at each moment of your life
• What things mean to you
• What should I do now?

Cf. Niagara Syndrome

4 Step Process for Achieving Success: The Ultimate Success Formula

1. Clearly decide what you want
2. Take massive action to make it happen
3. Notice what’s working and what’s not working
4. Change your approach until it does work

Cf. Mr. Honda

6 Quick Keys to Harness the Power of Decision

1. True power of making decisions
   Real decision is measured by the fact you’re taking new action
2. Making a true commitment
   Just decide: Never leave the scene of the decision without taking a specific action toward its realization
3. Make the decisions often
4. Learn from your decisions: What’s good about this?
5. Stay committed to your decision but stay flexible on your approach
   Don’t get stuck on the means to achieving it. It’s the result that you’re after
   Cultivate the art of flexibility
6. Enjoy making decisions

• Everything that we do, we do it out of our need to avoid pain or out of our desire to gain pleasure.
  Cf. Procrastination
• It’s not actual pain that drives us; it’s our fear that something will lead to pain: We are not driven by reality but by our perceptions of reality

Pain/Pleasure Linkage: Neuro-Associations of Pain & Pleasure

• Changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we can instantly change our behavior
• Anytime you experience a significant amount of pain or pleasure either emotionally or physically, your brain immediately searches for a cause; links up to that association in your nerve system
• False connections: Evaluate any associations in our minds
• Overwrite our experiences and consciously decide what will mean pleasure and what will mean pain

1. Anytime when you’re in a peak state whether be positive or negative, be careful what you focus on while in that state: Whatever you notice will be linked neurologically
2. Begin to question your false neuro-associations
3. Assume the power of change what you link pain and pleasure to
   Begin to focus on the possibility of the price you’ll pay if you don’t take action and then it’ll change what you associate to that decision
   Focus on the pain of inaction and on the pleasure of taking action now

All personal breakthroughs begin with the change in our beliefs

How do we change our beliefs?

1. Get your brain to associate enough massive pain to your old belief
2. Associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief
   Create doubt: the key to beginning to break up your old beliefs
   Conviction is a belief that is reinforced by even more powerful references
3. Find or create a triggering event that pushes over the edge and make it a conviction
4. Take action: Each action that you take strengthens your commitment and raises the level of your emotional intensity and conviction

1. Take 5 minutes on a piece of paper and brainstorm every belief that you can think of that empowers you
   Take equal amount of time and wrist down all the disempowering beliefs that you can think of that have limited you in your past
2. Circle the three most empowering beliefs; “How does this belief really empower me?” “How does it strengthen my life?”
   Circle the two most limiting beliefs; look at their consequences; feel the pain that comes with what they are cheating you out of; decide once and for all you’re no longer willing to pay the price that they are charging you for your life
3. Link these limiting beliefs to such intense pain that you want to rid yourself of them forever
4. Write down the replacements: “What would I now have to believe instead that will empower you?” “What would I have to believe in order to succeed in this situation?” “Who’s already succeeding in this area and what they believe differently than I do?” “What’s necessary to believe in order to succeed in this situation?”
   Expiring pain, feel challenged, frustrated & angry? “What would I have to believe in order to feel the way I do right now?”

NAC (Neuro-Associative Conditioning)

2 Shifts & Beliefs to Create Long-Term Change Quickly

1. We can change right now: Getting ready to change takes time
2. We’re responsible for our own change, not anyone else

6 Master Steps of Change

1. Decide what you really want & what’s preventing you from having it now
   Change the focus: Decide what you do want
   Be specific
   We link more pain to make the change than staying where you are
2. Get leverage on yourself
   Associate massive pain to not changing now and massive pleasure with experience of changing right now
   Changing is not a question of capability; it’s a question of motivation
   Ask yourself pain-inducing questions: “What will this cost me if I don’t change?” “What will I miss out of my life if I don’t shift now?” “What’s already costing me mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually?”
   Then, start using pleasure-associating questions: “If I do change, how would that make me feel about myself?’ “What kind of momentum I create if I change this in my life right now?” “How much happier will I be?”
3. Interrupt the limiting pattern
   Think of some of the ways that you can interrupt your own limiting & disruptive patterns: action, word, silly laugh, and disgusting noise
   Scramble the sensation that we link to our memory. Cf. Your boss yelling at you.
   See that same situation in your mind that was bothering you so much. Picture it as if it’s a movie. Just watch it one time seeing everything that happened. Take that & turn it into a cartoon. Sit up in your chair with a big silly grin on your face and breathe deeply and run the image backwards as fast as you can. (Watch him swallow his words.) Run through the cartoon forward again in fast motion. Change the colors of the image so everybody’s face is rainbow color. Grow big Mickey Mouse ears on his head then big, long Pinocchio nose. Do this at least dozen times back and forth sideways, scrambling image in your mind, create some goofy music that go along with it.
4. Create a new, empowering alternative
5. Condition the new pattern until it’s consistent
   The simplest way to condition something is just to rehearse it
   Rehearse your new alternative again and again with tremendous emotional intensity
   Set yourself up with a schedule to reinforce your new behavior
   Set up a series of short-term goals or milestones and as you reach each one immediately reward yourself
6. Test the new pattern for its ecology and effectiveness

1)   Make sure your new belief fits into your core beliefs and values

2)   Test these new strategies are firmly installed and working in concert

a)   Make certain that the pain is fully associated with the old pattern

b)   Notice and make certain that you’ve linked pleasure to the pattern

c)   Make sure you have aligned the new pattern with your values, beliefs and rules

d) Make sure the benefits of the old pattern that’ve maintained

e)   Make sure the change will be long-term and that your conditioning have been effective

Creation of Your Future, Your Magnificent Obsession

• All goal setting must immediately be followed by the development of a plan and with massive and consistent action toward its fulfillment.
• What stops some people is the unconscious fear of disappointment.
• Persistence: Change approaches as many times as necessary but won’t abandon your ultimate vision

4 areas

Personal Development Goals

1. Write down everything that you like to achieve in your life that relate to your personal growth: things you like to learn, limitations that you want to overcome, ways you like to improve your body, your spirituality, your relationship goals (min. 5 minutes)
2. Give yourself a timeline for each and every goal: When you want to achieve it by or within: 1 year, 3, 5, 20…
   ”Goals are dreams with a deadline.”
3. Choose your single most important one-year goal in this category
4. Take 2 minutes now to wrist a paragraph about why you’re absolutely committed to achieving this goal within one year: Why is this compelling to you; what would you gain by achieving it; what would you miss out on if you don’t achieve it

Career, Business, Economical Goals

1. How much you want to make in a year or in your lifetime; what career goals do you have; what are your investment goals; what are your money management goals; how much do you want to be able to spend on travel and adventure, on your kids’ education, on your own toys, what professional breakthroughs would you like to make; what kind of impact do you really want to have (min. 5 minutes)
2. Give a timeline to every goal (1 minute)

Adventure (Toys) Goals

1. What you like to build or create or purchase or find a sheer enjoyment for you (min. 5 minutes)
2. Put a timeline on each one of these goals (1 minute)
3. Pick the number 1 one-year goal
4. Write a paragraph giving all the compelling, irresistible reasons why you want to achieve this goal within a year

Contribution Goals

1. How you want to contribute (min. 5 minutes)
2. Give each goal the timeline
3. Select the top one year goal
4. Write a paragraph why you’re absolutely committing to achieving this goal within the next year (2 minutes)

At least twice a day, rehearse and emotionally enjoy the experience of achieving each one of your most highly valued goals. Every time you do this, you need to create more emotional joy as you see, feel, and hear yourself living your dream.